Raising TWO boys. Two boys that are my entire world. They are the reason why I do everything now-a-days, and will forever be that way. They have shaped me into the person I am today, and I hope that one day they will feel the same way about Dan and I. I look at their sweet little faces and every now and then it just hits me. They are only “babies” for so long, then comes the pre-teen years, and the teenage years, the college days, and the real world. And all I feel is sheer and utter anxiety. I want nothing more for these boys to have a beautiful, fulfilling life. Our parenting in many ways, will mold them into the type of kid, teen, and adult they will one day be. Our sweet little boys will one day slam doors in our faces, angry that I won’t let them play video games for hours. One day they will try to take the keys to the car to go to a party their father and I didn’t approve of. And eventually, they will fall for a girl. And I can only hope they will be gentlemen. To think we can have so much impact on their future, is overwhelming, and exciting all at the same time. Each household is different. Faith, work life, schooling, and home life, every house is completely different, not one the same. And yet, we must all hope at the end of the day that we are doing a good job at raising our kids. No matter which way we go about it. Kind, ambitious, generous, trustworthy, compassionate, just a few characteristics I hope our kids will have.
I will be the first to say, that we are not perfect. Dan and I both had different upbringings. We experienced a variety of hurdles that I know shaped us into who we are today. With kids these days though, I feel like there are SO many more hurdles to worry about then what we had just a mere 15-20 years ago. The bullying, social networks, cell phones, so and so forth. Kids are just a lot more advanced in age, easily influenced, and grow up way to quick. As parents, I know we hope to keep the boys on a slower pace. Not just give up and let them jump into things when they are not mature enough for it. Yet, holding them back from things could in the end keep them a little to sheltered?
With pre-school right around the bend for Brody, my natural instincts as a mother makes me what to home school him and keep him away from anything bad in the world. I know, however, that I cannot do that. He must experience things in life, the good, the bad, and the ugly to give him a stronger foundation in life. To think that someone, whether it be a teacher, student, or friend of his may one day be mean to him, and put him down in any way just makes my eyes tear up. I remember being bullied, even through some years at highschool. I was never really a “cool girl.” I was pretty plain jane, a “prude”, and not into parties and drinking. I had my fair share of comments, and yet I made it out okay. I can only hope that my kids will have a great relationship with their dad and I, and feel comfortable to discuss anything that is on their mind. To help them shuffle through the hard stuff.
The balance between being a parent and a friend I am sure will weigh heavy on us in their teen years. One stern comment about a friend we do not approve of, or an outfit we want them to change, I am will sure send them flying in that direction even more. Each child will go through phases, and do things we may not approve of. These younger years we may be spoiling them more than we should. And have questioned whether or not we are too laid back with the boys. Then I heard a comment during an interview one day. A grandmother asking a host whether or not it is a good or bad thing that she spoils her granddaughter to an extreme. I was ready to hear, “Heck ya, do not fill this little girls head with the idea that life is peaches and cream.” Quite the contrary, the host said to spoil her, give her all the unconditional love you have to offer. Because someday, a teacher, or a friend will not be nice to her. In fact, will probably bring her down. And she will always know she has you to come back to and feel that love from. I cried. Okay, a lot. Every day is a gift. The future is never promised. Our children are our world, and whether or not we go about raising them how our neighbor or friend may be doing with theirs, they will all get on the same bus one day. We can only hope as parents that our children will be kind to one another. The balance you find as a parent is all your own. I know from the way my boys interact with others now, that they will continue to make me proud every day. I must learn not to worry so much. Breathe a little, and trust in ourselves as new parents. We must learn as we go, take each day at a time. I cannot be the only parent that thinks this far ahead right?