Hand in hand – childhood emotional wellness

This has been an exceptionally hard road to navigate with my boys, but here are some of the things I have used to help ease their anxiety during flares with their illnesses.

Parenting is a challenging journey from day one. One ticket to the roller coaster ride of a lifetime of emotions : worry, excitement, pure joy and exhaustion. I’ve never quite experienced such an array of feelings on a daily basis until I became a mother.

What do you do though when that very same heightened sense of emotion is a trait that your children struggle with, particularly worry and anxiety? First, you take a deep breath, because, crap. It’s much harder to navigate than I had ever imagined.

You can trick your kids into eating veggies but you cannot trick your kids into ignoring their emotions

These are the things that I have learned that work for my kids over the years. This is my way of helping them cope with their anxiety. I am not a doctor (obviously) nor think this is a one way street for everyone. Hopefully you just enjoy this read, and perhaps find a way to put your own spin on one of my tips.

Number One: Don’t dismiss the way your child is feeling.

I learned this the hard way – I thought maybe at first if I did not dive too deep into acknowledging their anxiety or acting out due to it all it would help draw the attention away, and surely the moment would pass. WRONG – No matter the age, a child yearns for the validation over their emotions. That they are seen and heard, and are comforted in the fact that they can share how they are feeling with you 24/7.

Number Two: Plan of attack!

Teaching your child coping mechanisms is key! The benefits will not happen over night, for my boys it took multiple anxious bouts to learn that the few tips and tricks I provided them with to actually soothe them. Once they continued to use the tips they felt empowered by it all. I always start with deep breathing for them, instructing them to take 3-5 deep breaths in and out. Releasing those “yucky” feelings. Essential oil rollers have played a massive role into teaching my children how to combat their anxiety. I use a multitude of oils – some for asthma, belly aches, soothing lavender, whichever they chose. In that moment they feel empowered to take an oil, apply it and take control of what they are trying to ease.

Number Three: TALK it OUT

This will get repetitive, trust me. But think, even as adults we have moments of stress and anxiety revolving around the same issues (finances/work etc) that we ourselves circle around daily. So just imagine being a child, whom does not have the life experience to understand the scale of their worry and how help themselves. I can usually spot when the boys are going to go through a tough time. It’s nearly always right before, and during a flare of their health issues. Their entire childhood was spent in and out of hospitals and unfortunately a simple cold can quickly be associated with being admitted. Or hearing that a classmate threw up at lunch will spiral into B thinking that he will get the stomach flu and in return have his Ulcerative Colitis act up. They will not speak up guys, most of the time. So as much as you do not want to dwell, have them sit with you on the couch and talk it out. Having the power as an adult to explain or at least comfort them in understanding makes all of the difference.

Number Four: Fill Their Cup

Just as the same goes for us, make sure to help check off any box you know your child needs. Healthy eating habits, exercise, social time, alone time…etc. Emotions can run wild when we feel short circuited, so I always make sure to ask my boys what they feel like they need in times of acting out. Most of the time, its quiet time in their room, a moment to play outside dance party in the kitchen or a family board game. Help them to get their mind off of things, and these quiet moments can offer the perfect timing to have a heart to heart.

Helping provide your child with a few fundamental tips and tricks to aid in decreasing anxiety will give them the building blocks they need to be able to sort through difficult moments in life with confidence and compassion for others.