Don’t Take Away His Sparkle.

Every parent worries about their children.  Around the clock, for all different reasons, in all different situations.  Brody had his first day at safety town yesterday, in which we have talked about for weeks leading up to.  He has been excited, and we thought he understood the majority of what he was taking part in.  He woke up yesterday morning, saying he didn’t feel good (his tummy) which is always a red flag for us.  Owen is on day two of a flu bug, fighting off a high fever and icky stomach, so we were fearful that he was getting the bug as well.  It seemed to lean a lot more towards nerves though than a flu bug though – but who were we to guess?

We had him eat breakfast, and he refused to get off the couch.  He simply did not want to go to safety town.  Whimpering that his belly hurt I felt awful as a mom that I knew I had to get him there, to give it a try, and try to remind myself that deep down he would be just fine.  We somehow managed to convince him to get ready, as we drove we talked more about what the day would consist of and he seemed to get more and more excited.  I felt a huge sigh of relief!

While sitting with his fellow safety-towners, I heard a little boy ask Brody was his name was.  You could tell Brody was SO nervous the entire morning, even while waiting for parents to leave he just seemed a bit over whelmed.  “Brody-” he replied, and when Brody says his name sometimes it sounds odd – like “birdie” So the boy laughed, pointed at him, and the other little boys next to him giggled away.  Brody smirked, not really understanding he was being teased a bit.  And then just went back to coloring quietly.

My stomach dropped.  We said our “See you Soon’s” and I called Dan the second I got into the car.  Of course a 15 minute conversation followed on what I witnessed at the table.  I wondered if Brody even noticed, if he felt okay in a room full of people that he did not know.  I felt SO bad for bringing him there.  Dan was flustered – he knows of all kids, Brody is a hoot to be around, and always livens up any room he is in.  So the thought of one day, even down the road him having a hard time fitting in just made us a bit sad.

I told Dan I was certain he did not understand that the kid was being, well a kid.  And that by the time I hung up the phone I was convinced he was having a ball.  2 1/2 hours later, a sick little Owen and I went to pick him up and sign him out of the class.  “He cried a lot this morning, he said he missed you” the girl in charge said.  Oh my sweet boy, his eyes were red, he just did not look himself.  My heart fell out of my chest.  I tried the whole car ride home to talk to him, he would not really let me know why exactly he was crying, and he seemed quite embarrassed to even have me bring it up.

I knew I had to turn the day around – he sat around for about 2 hours once we got home.  He would not leave the couch – he said it was his stomach.  Maybe it was, maybe that is why he was crying, maybe he felt too uncomfortable to say something so simply tears followed.

Once Owen fell asleep for a nap, I told him we should go outside and have our “special time”.  This phrase goes around frequently with our kids.  Their “special time” to them is one on one time with mom or dad.  When days are not going as planned and someone is not having the best of days, special time is needed!

I swooped him outside where we sat and had yogurt on our porch.  Chatted a bit more about the morning, he said the kids were nice (Oh I hope) and that he just missed me, and the belly hurt.  I knew the kid just needed some space, it was probably a lot to take in.  New neighborhood, new school, not a face to be recognized.  I felt bad for putting him in that situation!

Soccer games, hop scotch, and chalking filled up two sweet hours with Brody.  He was right back where he always is.  Funny, giggling, smiling away.  My heart started to lift – I needed this afternoon with him.

 The thought of what is to come in future school years is terrifying.  Kids these days are exposed to SO much more these days, unlike my generation growing up.  This first day of safety town I guess just brought up a lot of fears that every parent holds for their kids.  I pray that Brody always feels confident, being the happy-wild-golf loving kid that he is.  Even when peers may not be at their best, I hope he stays at his best.

Watch previous seasons of the Bachelor, with Tierra? She voiced that her parents told her when she was young to not let anyone take away her sparkle.  I laughed when she said that, but now I feel the exact same way!  I just don’t want Brody to lose his sparkle.  Seriously, this kid is amazing.  I hope that the following days at safety town, and his first year of kindergarten are an exciting and happy time for him.  He’s an amazing kid, and deserves the best.